When we talk of belief, we generally take into account only two categories. Let us accommodate a third party in the believer and non-believer dilemma – the agnostics, the “I don’t know” category. Although this classification does not simplify the matter, this makes things more comprehensive. How does an agnostic view the world? Unlike a believer, agnostics will possibly be not misled by illusions. Unlike a non-believer, agnostics are not prejudiced to prove a “vision” as a delusion, if there is any. This is apparently the correct frame of mind to see things as they are in reality.

For easier analysis, though not strictly correct, interaction between science and religion can be viewed as that which exists between believer and non-believer. It is not that scientists don’t have any beliefs. They do! They believe in evolution, just as religious people believe in creation of beings by God. Religious people are more reluctant to make compromises with their beliefs than scientists.

Whatever was inexplicable scientifically, religious people used the name of God to explain it. Growth in scientific knowledge has explained away many mysteries. One instance is that of planetary motion. When Johannes Kepler explained the laws of planetary motion, he said that he did not feel the need of God to explain it. In this way one role ascribed to God till then was taken away from his realm.

Now the question is whether “everything” will be explained some day thereby obliterating the need for any God for the atheists and the agnostics at least. Will we stumble upon God while trying to fill the gaps of our ignorance? Some scientists talk about “God particles” (Higg’s boson), trying to make everyone happy! The God particle is supposed to give the quality of mass to fundamental particles (that makes up the quarks, which in turn makes up the protons, neutrons etc.). In this way God particle makes things “exist”. There is a plan to run a huge cyclotron in Europe which will make sub-atomic particles traveling at near about the speed of light collide. And scientists will look for the God particles, which might appear for fractions of a second. This will also supposedly help in explaining or proving the existence of only one force behind every observable force. At present science does “not explain” force of gravity and electromagnetic force as emanating from single source, though many scientists, including Albert Einstein, believe it to be so. String theory is considered the most suitable candidate that may explain the unified field theory. According to this, every force is ultimately “made up” of certain “particle” (string). How a thing becomes existent (acquires mass) and the source of all forces of nature will be explained. The noose is certainly closing in, but will it tie in the truth, or uncertainty will remain just like the Heisenberg’s uncertainty of science. Hold your breath and wait ….

How to die so that I will not be born again? If I understand correctly, this is the aim of Buddhists and many others who follow their religions tenaciously. Again if I’m right, there is a natural tendency in us to achieve this end. When reading about ghost, I came across a theory on how ghost materializes. Any kind of ‘mental disturbance’ creates them and they can persist after expiry of the physical body that created them in the first place.

I’m reminded of a story. There was a nuclear family that owned a big farm. They were four in number – mother, father, daughter and son. For some time both the father and the son spotted some strange creature in their farm. They chased and shot it but to no use. At last they called a famous exorcist for help. The exorcist traced the ‘source’ of it to the daughter. The father was abusing the daughter. The enormous repressed anguish that she harboured in her mind had taken the form of the animal. She created it unintentionally!

Read any ghost story claimed to be true and you’ll find some deeply disturbed mind somewhere. Now let me put forth my supposition. The mental disturbance that has a definite identity perpetuates. This perpetuated identity might influence or become part of an existing being – that is like being born again. The death that does not leave any such disturbance, whether it can be felt by others (living) or not, is the art of dying an enlightened death in my opinion.

When talking about enlightenment, one image of Buddha is quite popular. He is sitting with two men beside him. One of them is injuring one of his arms with a knife and the other is lovingly applying sandalwood in the other arm. But he shows no reaction to either: His mind is still and no positive or negative emotions flare up. In such a state if someone dies, will he or she leave any disturbance? I don’t think so. He died without leaving any identity in form of disturbance.

I suppose I’m able to put across my point clearly.

This story is about three brave men Horatius, Lartius and Herminius who lived in the days when Rome was young. Italy was then divided up into little kingdoms and cities, between one or other of which there was nearly always war. The Etruscans were the most powerful. Before they were finally driven out of Italy, they had won for themselves a great part of the Roman possessions.

At the time when Horatius and his friends lived there was civil war in Rome. The people, led by the nobles, or the patricians as they were called, had risen in revolt against their tyrant king, Tarquinius Superbus or Tarquin the Proud.

So much had the patricians suffered under the tyrant's rule and so fiercely did they hate him, that after the revolution they made the people swear never to allow another king to reign in Rome.

Tarquin fled to Etruria to ask for help, and no man knew when he might come again to try and win back the kingdom. All were sure, however, that he would not leave the city long in peace and that the Etruscans would only be too glad of an excuse to make war on them.

Thus, Rome was made republic. Junius Brutus, the leader of the revolution, and another patrician ruled as consuls (chief magistrates). They had the power of a king, but being two, the power was divided, and so each was less likely to act unjustly, or to wrong the people. These two were the first Roman Consuls of the great Roman Republic. Later on it was found better to give all power into the hands of one man, called the dictator, as the consuls often quarreled among themselves and so endangered the safety of the State.

At first all went well: the patricians were content, the people did not complain; the laws which Tarquin had changed were righted again; a plot which some friends of the king had started, in the hope of throning him again, was foiled.

Then, one day the cry arose in the city, 'To arms! To arms! The Etruscans are here!' Out rushed the soldiers, battleaxe in hand: straight to the banks of the Tiber they ran, to that place where stood the Sublician Bridge, for over this narrow wooden bridge, the enemy would have to pass before they could reach the city.

All the citizens followed; men, women, children, and slaves, ran helter-skelter to the bank of the river to watch their soldiers break down the bridge. Only thus could Rome be saved.

But it was too late! Too late! Proud Tarquin with Lars Porsenna of Clusium at the head of a strong Etruscan army stood there on the other side ready to cross the river.

'They will be over before we can cut down the bridge!' shouted the soldiers.

'We are lost! Rome will be taken!' cried the women wildly, and clasped their children close and wept.

'The city shall be saved! The bridge shall fall! By the gods, I swear it!' Horatius cried, 'Romans! Who will keep yonder side with me so that none shall pass while the work is done?'

'I will!' answered Spurius Lartius.

'And I!' said Herminius, and proudly the three crossed the bridge even unto the end where the Etruscans were.

'Lars Porsenna, ye pass not by here save only ye pass over our dead bodies!' they cried.

And when the enemy stood still in astonishment, 'Etruscans, ye do well to fear three Romans!' laughed Horatius.

'Forward!' thundered Porsenna, and on pressed the Etruscans by threes and fours (for the passage was narrow), only to be slain or thrust back by the valiant three, while behind them the Roman soldiers slashed and hacked the bridge.

Beam by beam the gap grew wider between the three brave men and the bridge. With one voice the Romans cried, 'Jump! Horatius, Lartius, Herminius! Jump while you can!'

Lartius and Herminius obeyed. Again rose the cry—'Horatius, come while there is time!'

'Not till the last beam is down!' answered Horatius, and another Etruscan fell to the ground before him.

Swift and furious flew the axes: beam after beam crashed into the water. At last! The bridge was down, and Horatius, leaping into the river, swam to the other side unhurt. Rome was saved.

The world has some ‘Please don’t mind?’ and a lot of ‘Mind your business.’ The two are contradictory but exist side by side. One is asking you to put your mind into something and the other is asking you to take it out of something. When you ‘mind your business’ you are stressed out and tense. When you ‘don’t mind’ you are eased and pleased with yourself. Not ‘minding’ is the art of lunacy. As a little loosed-screw myself, I would like point out certain benefits of lunacy. I would quickly add here that clinical lunacy is out of the question. The main distinguishing line that I can see is that in the kind of lunacy I am talking about you know why you are behaving in a certain way and you are in control of the situation.

            I’m no artist and don’t know exactly whether creativity can be inculcated. But I do know that nature follows certain rules. We can stand properly by forming a certain angle to the surface of the earth. Also we are comfortable that way. What if the rule set by nature is in conflict with ‘minding our business’? This is when we should be seeking solace in lunacy. Now I’m becoming restless to give you some examples. Imagine that your hands and legs are just logs of wood and you don’t feel any pain if something hits them. Even if you feel pain you will not express it on your face. For many of us this sounds ridiculous. But in karate this goes down very well. A psychological fight is going on beside the physical one. Your tell-tale signs to your opponent will make him or her take advantage of it. A strong affirmation that your hands and legs are just logs of wood also causes a self-induced hypnosis (delusion?) which lessens your pain. Studies have shown release of pain-relieving chemicals by the brain. Can you give me the allowance to bring Mahatma Gandhi’s ‘satyagraha’ under its ambit? (Someone hits you and you are ready to have some more of it!) There is so much out-of-worldliness in what Osho preached and practiced but it strikes us because there is so much of inner truth hidden in it. He does not mind what has already been taught for centuries as so sacrosanct to be questioned. What I’m asking you is to become extraordinary to solve your extraordinary problems. But what if all problems are extraordinary one way or the other?

Is it necessary that an outcome or an event in a system should have only one causal agent? In so many areas people tried to explain away things simplistically with one thing or the other, but ended up realizing that things aren’t as simple as is apparent at first look. Take evolution for example, some said that a sudden random change in a population which adapted itself well in its surrounding and multiplying itself, and some said that a gradual environment-induced change that perpetuated advantageously compared to others is solely responsible. Now scientists are more or less unanimous in proposing that many factors, one way or the other, give direction to evolutionary branches. Some factors play a major role, even to exclusion of others, in evolution of a particular species. Generally speaking if one considers involvement of several factors as a driving force for evolution then we should be more willing to acknowledge the existence of a ‘complex’ responsible for a particular event.

Although a great leap, let me bring in a new dimension – the psychic realm – that along with physical factors influences events in our lives. Allow me to make some points so that if not turn you to a believer but at least you do not reject my proposition in totality. If you happen to be a regular listener of radio at any point of time, you must have noticed that when someone passes by the radio it causes certain disturbance under certain circumstances. Also, there is something called Kirlian photography, which shows certain aura (colourful field) around living bodies. If you would like to go a little deeper, you can carry out the following exercise. For this you need to have a radio preferably with Short Wave Band. Tune in to a certain station that is susceptible to human presence – time and weather are important for this. You will notice that movement of your hand around the aerial (antenna) of the radio causes disturbance. Now put your hand stationary at such a position where the disturbance is perceptible and constant. Close your eyes and concentrate. What do you observe? The level of disturbance changes!

I have read few things about psychic phenomena here and there. That it can be affected by many things (including our innermost desires) is understandably the tricky aspect of it. That is why predictions of future go wrong – who can possibly handle a gamut of reacting ‘complex’ all the time. However, many would agree with me that this faculty can be developed just like we can develop our muscles by regular exercise. To develop our muscle besides exercising we need a good diet. Similarly, to develop our psychic faculty a peaceful environment is very important. Here peaceful is being used in the broad sense of the word. Developing our psychic self is basically about our conscious mind gaining access into our sub-conscious mind and taping the immense capabilities lying there.

What do we get out of all this? Any psychologist will tell you that our body and mind are intricately related to each other, and that one affects the other whether for good or bad. I believe that a strong and well-disciplined psychic power will accrue benefits to both body and mind. Many a times we are placed in situations where we are forced to take decisions without having a clue. These may at times be of vital importance. In such a situation don’t you think that it is better to cling to something, however weak the support might be, rather than indulge ourselves in pure guesswork? Overnight results are next to impossible here also. Furthermore, I personally feel that it is better to work on the line that you are not an exception but a part of the rule who can develop his or her psychic faculties within yourself gradually. This will have the additional benefit of getting enough time to adapt yourself with its consequences. People with this faculty highly developed, who are unprepared, claim that it is a terrible thing. Try to imagine as vividly as possible that you are ‘seeing’ an accident taking place and the same materializes in front of your eyes. I don’t think that this aspect should be a sufficient reason to deter us from venturing into this field – a field which is already developing as a distinct line of study. Besides, do we have any field that doesn’t have its own drawbacks? This is where spirituality comes in as a remedy. The way monks look at life and death might help you here. Disciplining our psychic self and developing its strength is a way of gaining control of our lives and evolving ourselves. 

There you are again! At first though I believed but never felt myself the intimate relationship between mind and body, now I do. I do not cherish this revelation as I learnt about it by seeing mental sufferings getting manifested bodily. A protracted stressful thought or event would cause a generalized fatigue over my whole body or a headache at the back of my head. It adversely affects my memory, ability to think and speak. There were times when I felt very weak even to walk.

I am becoming more mature and more capable of taking care of myself and my emotions. However, I fear that I may not be able to become as mature as to avoid these inner tortures altogether, at least in this lifetime. Developing your faculties and sensitizing yourself in those areas where you are less prone to get hurt is a very good way of keeping yourself mentally healthy, or at least mitigating the effect of troubled personal and social life. Any healthy hobby or hobbies can lend you safe heaven – the more the merrier.

Besides music I have developed a fair taste for reading novels. In music I used to listen to Hindi pop songs only, but now it has expanded to English pop songs. Earlier I used to read non-fiction stories (I did not like my school books), but now I am very much occupied in reading novels. I have changed a lot, so are my tastes. I like the person I am becoming. I would like to become more mature so that nothing would be able to hurt me anymore. My happiness should not depend on anybody. I want to strengthen the bond that has developed between me and my books and music. I would like to get completely absorbed in them and sincerely hope that they are there for me forever.

I believe that age, surrounding and our resolutions strongly influence us. When I came to Delhi, I realized how introvert I am and how it was wrecking havoc on me. Then I resolved to change myself – to be an extrovert. For me being alone is not a curse and being in a small friend circle is also a sweet thing. Monetarily I am not well placed, otherwise I would have been satisfied the way I am. To advance my career further I will have to change myself further. In this globalizing world, I must learn to market myself. I don’t want to have all the riches of the world. I just want to be in a position where no one (stranger) sneers nor feels pity.

Love of books is something that I developed gradually (on-and-off thing), and music has remained a spice that I could taste heartily, even when I was a child. There is an element of adventure in hunting down the very book or music that I eagerly look for. Other forms of love hurts, but these two only give bliss when it can. What book or music I like depends on what is in my mind. A strong affinity between the two and a good deliverance stir passions – as if you are speaking out the pain that is in you to someone all heart and mind absorbed in what you are saying. The author very often gives insights you have never thought of. The characters of the novel materialize in your heart and you feel somehow connected with them.